Too little too long

It seems as if life has just flown by the last couple months. But then again while I am sitting here it seems as if our 7 month adventures in babysittingis going so slow that it will never end. It is hard to believe that we have 46 days 4 hours and 17 minutes, not that I am keeping track ;). This "adventure" has been quite the undertaking. People ask me, was it more than you thought or about what you expected? Well I will be honest with you. It has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. Without the family connection and strong base of close friends this would have driven me to the nut house. If at any time prior to this I thought my wife was a good mom, more or less a good person, I was nothing short of wrong, she is the most amazing mother of 4 I have met. She will unconditionally love and forgive two kids that are not even hers. I on the other hand have taken the opportunity to love them, hold them, care for them, and structure them. I don't always forgive them on the same day they make a mistake, but my wife will. I have learned a lot while they have been here. I have learned to love stronger with less time to do it. I have learned to bath four kids in 20 minutes. I have relearned how to change a diaper, how to cure diaper rash, how to potty train again, how to brush four sets of teeth, how to tuck in four wide awake children and get them to understand it's time to sleep, wake four kids up get them dressed, get them in their car seats, and last but not by any means the last thing I have learned but, I have taught four kids how to love each other no matter how different they are. My two kids have learned to share their life with two complete strangers. They barely knew these two cousins of theirs before they showed up. I am proud of how my children have handled the situation. It makes me feel as if I am doing my job as a parent. I will be the first one to tell you I haven't done everything right. I have made my mistakes in discipline and coddling to my own children first. But I will admit I have done my best and if asked to do it again, I would gladly say, NO FUCKING WAY!! Not a chance! I am glad that I did it but if given the opportunity to fast forward and see my daily duties I would have been selfish enough of my family to say no. I told you I was honest:). When this is over I am going to 1st have a party and get so rocked that I can't talk straight, 2nd I am going to spend an extraordinary amount of time with my wife, kids, and immediate family, and 3rd, I am going to find myself missing the boys, and thinking, I would do it all over again. But then I will think back to the noise, the ass wiping, the nose blowing, the fighting, the early morning wake ups, the sick days, the back talk, the split love, and the full house, and I will say.......not a chance!

There's a reason for second chances.

My wife and are will soon be celebrating our 13 year anniversary. Let me rephrase that. We will be celebrating our 13 year first date anniversary. I met my wife Kate in Spanish class my sophomore year in high school, Cassandra was her Spanish name. Oh what a quiet shy little thing she was then, if only I would have known the voice she had inside of her for the future I may have thought twice! Nah I would have still whooed her. I didn't jump on the opportunity to date her the first time I laid eyes on her. I actually went a couple months without asking her out, the first time. We dated for a couple months before my foolish pride and big head got the best of me. I am not going to lie. I was a complete asshole to her when I broke up with her. I ignored her, avoided her, and then treated her like shit before finally letting her know that I wanted "some space." she took it hard, and inside, I did too. No matter who I saw, or who I went on a date with, she was continuously the girl I thought about. I thought to myself, i think i may really like this girl. In early February of 1998 I asked her if she would like to go to snowcoming with me. She said yes, thank god almighty, she said yes! On February 13th 1998 we went to the dance together, and danced on clouds. I know. Gay, right? I remember that night clear as day. She wore a maroon velvet short dress. She looked amazing! Like always. After the dance we went to Chad blumls house and sat in a recliner together. To be honest I don't even think we talked, I can still feel my heart race now when I think of holding her that night. February 13th has and always will be just as important as the day I married her. This was one of those days, " I got right." Kate has put up with me for almost half of her life now. I love her more today than I ever have. She knows me in and out, and she is my logic in life. So here is to my high school sweet heart! Thank you for the best 13 years of my life. And psssst, thanks for the second chance;)

Life in a clown car

So I have been waiting to get the time to write about our newest endeavor. I will start with the backstory first. Last spring/summer my wife and I found out that my wifes brother would be being deployed for a twelve month ship duty, we were also informed that his wife would also be deployed for a twelve month duty station in Djibouti Africa. The crisis you ask? Their two boys. Gaige 3, and Jesse 2. What to do with the boys? Well as luck would have it my wifes family is distant,(which is a nice way of putting it.) her brother had first talked about having a friend of his take care of the boys during the 7 month differential. And then he talked about his ex stepmom take care of them which didn't sit well with my wife, well. Because an ex stepmom is an ex for a reason. After a minute or so of debate we both agreed that the only correct place for the boys to go would be our home. I call it a debate but it was more of a given.
Our newest family members arrived from California in mid November. Their father Jon drove them and their necessary belongings across the country. Their mother Kathy joined us a week later. She flew back from Djibouti where she had already been stationed for 4 months. The first couple of weeks with the parents here was nice to let them slowly acclimate to the new surroundings, but yet it had it's disadvantage because there are schedules and disciplines we would have liked them to help us set in place. Obviously that was not an option with both parents knowing that these were the last weeks that they would be with their boys for a couple months. So needless to say, it was a free for all for the boys before we got complete control of them. Ummmmmmmm that pretty much fucking sucked when they had a month of never being told no.
So December 4th, our first actual day of complete say so in the boys lives. Now prior to this day my wife and I sat down and kind of made a mental list of the things we wanted to jump on right away. So here they are. Getting Gaige to start using the potty, get the boys on a very strict nighttime schedule because there ups and downs where not consistent, and it showed in their attitudes. We also wanted to get them to be more independent in their day to day duties. Temper tantrums and timeouts where hand in hand for the first couple weeks. And the last thing we really wanted to focus on was getting Gaige to talk more confidently and using yes and no instead of unhuh and untuhn. So the journey began. Within one week bedtimes were in place and the schedule was showing in their attitudes. Within two weeks Gaige was using the potty full-time and waking up dry in the morning. Also both boys were getting their own boots in the morning and for the most part getting them on by themselves. Gaige and I are still working on the yes and no, but he is slowly getting it. My wife and I are very pleased with the progression of their relationships with us and with my two children also. Now I will not say that these accomplishments have been easy, or that they were not draining but I will say all of these have been worth it. My wife and I have had our share of conflicts through our first month and half. And the main one so far has been discipline, who, what for, when, and how. I am a firm believer of an older version of discipline, and my wife is more of a talk it out kind of disciplinarian. I was always told a firm hand holds a family tight, but after watching my wifes magic in calming a situation with a smooth tongue has made me a believer in both sides of the discipline world.
Our house is definitely busy day in and day out and the memories shared will be worth this crazy road we are traveling. Even with the social side of our lives taking a baseball bat upside the head;) we have 5 months and appr. 15 days left before this journey is over so there will be more stories of this new part of our life we like to refer to as the clown car. There are moments I sit and think to myself, what the fuck were we thinking, and then there are hugs and kisses from 4 kids that bring me back to reality. In all honesty, it was and always be a simple decision to be there for your family, even if it's your wifes family! :)

Dream a little dream

I think it's natural for a man to dream that his life can be more than what he has made it. I think it is a good thing to do so, it keeps you wanting more. It keeps you from just "being". One of my greater fears is to simply exist in this world. I wouldn't be surprised to find myself dreaming, not about what if, but what could be at least three times a day. I have that one picture perfect dream of where I want my life to be in 5-10-15years and so on and so on. When my wife and I first married our dream was to be homeowners, to be parents, to travel, to be surrounded by friends and family. So far mission accomplished. As we change with age, so does our thoughts about where we would like to be. This last year has really been a year to put these ideas down on paper and weigh our options about what would be best not only for us anymore but for our two children also. We want to create a life for them full of life experiences, free thought, and hard labor to learn the respect of enjoying what you have earned. My home town of Carroll has been great to us, and we couldn't ask for any better friends and all the love of our family. We dream someday soon to make a life in the country, whether it be close to home or a little further away we both agree that it is a life we want to offer to our children.
While I sit and type this, it's amazing to me the feeling of pure pleasure I get just thinking about it. I see the fruits of my labor now, and I foresee the fruits of the labor my family will have in the future. Now comes the time to put this in motion so I guess this is my first step to get moving and taking the necessary changes in our life to get us where we want to be.
Now.......there is always that what if chance we dream called...the lottery! Hehehehe. I do dream about winning it big just like anybody else that buys a ticket. I don't have a lot of input on this option except for the concept that if I win it, I will take care of my close friends and family and also, there will be a lot of people in a 60 mile radius being told to go fuck themselves!;).
I will finish this post on this note. We dream about change for a reason. It's human nature to know instinctively what is best for yourself. Don't push these thoughts to the back burner, grab them tightly and follow them. I will be the first one to tell you that when looking back on your life it is easier to not say what if when you know you based your decisions on gut instinct. When you attack your life whole heartedly it puts our for you. 2011 there is no hiding, I am coming to get you, with all my will.
Nate

Oh the joys of a daughter

I am one of three boys born to my mother Kristine. My brothers will agree that the only thing better than being part of a boy only family would possibly be, being an only child to rich parents, and even then it's debatable. We had no experience with girls, except for the run ins with the neighbor tomboys, or the female cousins who were pretty much tomboys until puberty also.
My brother was the first of us three to welcome a daughter into the world. The cuteness of the, "daddy wrapped around her finger", and the "princess" was great looking in from the outside. Being an uncle to a little bundle of pink was and continues to be awesome. My wife and I were next to bring a child into the world. When he popped out, that's right I said he, I was thinking, fuck yes!!!! My brother is going to be the only one with girls! Hehehehehe. Then my brother and his wife had another child. A girl! Oh man I am looking like a king right now! The only one to pass our last name down. Not to long after, my wife and I were expecting another child. We decided to find out. What the sex was. As I sat in the room with my wife we worked up the courage to ask. And then the answer came. It seemed like on the movie Christmas story when ralphie drops the f-bomb. It's a ggggggggggggiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrllllllllll! I think I actually blacked out for the next, ohhhh, week or so. Now don't get me wrong, I was glad that it was healthy, I was curious as to the new experience, and I was scared shitless that some day a pervert just as myself will want to take my daughter out in his 1980 ford escort and try to Rico suave her into the back seat. If you females ever want to know what you brought into your fathers world when you were born. I will answer that question for you. FEAR! That's what the lack of wiener on a baby brings to a fathers life.;)
So my daughter is born, and for the first year, it's pretty standard baby care. I think the only big difference I had to get used to was when wiping after a dirty diaper you can not, I repeat, can not wipe up! Other than that, pretty much the same. And then somewhere down the road, some smart ass told her she was a princess. I don't know if she is gullible or what but it stuck. From that day she instinctively got an attitude, a voice, and the need to walk like a movie star and roll her eyes at me. No shit people, I do believe I am living with Lindsay Lohan minus the drugs. I have zero clue on how to raise a girl and I am praying that I can pull at least 18 good years out of my life to raise her and remind her everyday that dancing on a pole is against the law. If I can do that, I have proven myself a parent. Like I said, oh the joys of having a daughter. If only I would have known. I would have treated my formal girlfriends with a little more respect. Oh who the he'll am I kidding;)

Ahhhhhh. January 4th of the new year 2011. A great day in the history of my life. First because it is my best friends birthday, and second because I have survived 30 of them. Starting a blog for me is a huge leap, a tall branch to climb out on, and a big bite to take. When I write for the most part I pour my soul into whom I am writing for. Hence a change for me. I will be writing to a host of people I more or less do not know. Giving you updates on how difficult or easy it is to live a life simply on common sense or as we call it here, standard Midwest upbringing. Don't get me wrong we have some stupid people here in the Midwest, but in general, we survive on inherited wit and handwork.
So, I guess I will give you a general outline of who the hell I am. I am a male, 30 years of age. Father of 2, husband of one, construction worker, volunteer firefighter. And for the next 6 months I am the power of attorney and step in dad for my two nephews whose parent are both deployed in the navy. I look forward to putting some stories in here about the experience of basically doubling my family for 6 months, and in general just letting you see a glimpse of my simple world through my eyes. I hope you are ready for the ride, because depending on the day, this could get interesting.
Nate